This ain’t my first rodeo. I mean, I don’t mean to brag or anything, but my first time was when I was eight years old. Forget that my BFF @jaimethejam totally broke her arm a week later, I will forever take credit for teaching her to ride. In all honesty, this has been a huge source of Mommy shame for me — the fact that I was riding at 5, my brother at 3, and I have a completely athletic, fearless and capable little girl. Despite the timing not being exactly what I had in mind, midday on this blazing hot last day of August, in an empty parking lot, with me and my girl in her hot pink bandana, chucks and tattooed arm, she learned to ride in less than an hour. And I wouldn’t change her red faced sweaty mark of accomplishment for anything in the world - even this milestone happening two years earlier. #ourtimingisnothis
Even though life circumstances have stolen my happiness lately, my joy has been steadfast and I’ve learned that joy and pain can coexist. Today has been one of those special days where I’ve had both, happiness and joy, and man, it sure has been a special day. This girl is a constant source of happiness for me and I am overwhelmingly thankful for her.
Since I for real did not get a single first day of second grade photo - I’ll post this one of my girl, as I sit in my car, drinking my iced vanilla latte, reminiscing about last seven years with this angel of a daughter, feeling sorry for myself (read: shedding a few tears) because I should’ve insisted on walking her in. When life doesn’t turn out how you imagined and most moments are spent questioning and wishing and hurting — it’s these moments of pure gratitude for undeserved joys, such as her, that keep me moving (and crying) but moving nonetheless. #icanthelpit #ivealwaysbeenafeeler #alsoknownasabasketcase